Chapter 105: No Greater Fear Than That Of Love Standing Helpless

The idea of blood is ridiculous.

And while I have some complaints to Odin about the red stuff that runs in our bodies and leaks out when you poke too hard, that's not what I'm talking about here.

The idea of good blood or bad blood or bloodlines or 'they take after their father or mother,' or, going bigger, that's just how they are because of who they are, what they are, that's absurd.

''I'm proof of that. I grew up as my father's runt of a child, someone who was strange and who didn't fit in, despite all of my efforts to be just like them. How can I say to other people that that's what I would expect of them because of who their parents were, who their family is, when I remember so strongly that I wasn't like my own father?''

'' 'That's just how they are'. Oh really? That's just how 'they' are? Why? It didn't matter to me how much 'Vikings' were like that, even as I tried to be one with all of my (rather sad) might. I wasn't an ax-wielding warrior.''

Yes, there are tendencies ''across groups of people. But those come from how the child is taught, from what the people around them say is acceptable on how to behave, and also from their own personal gifts and temperaments. Everyone likes to say now that my eldest kids are 'geniuses, just like their father' since they started reaching adulthood and I'm finding out exactly what my father and Gobber meant by "the Grandparents' Curse". And yes, part of me would like to think that it's all my 'blood'. But it isn't. It's because when they were little, I helped them ask questions and grow. I encouraged the parts of them that wanted to know, wanted to understand the world and how it is put together. And not all of my kids are that kind of 'genius'. Oh, Asta and Magni definitely are, and it's been a joy to watch them scare and upset the old scholars as they've finish their schooling—or in Valka's case, scare the lords now that she's starting to take some responsibility in leading. But Hamish, ahem, 'takes after his mother,' and while he's certainly smart enough, he's not interested in being a philosopher or a lord or an artist or a priest like his brothers and sisters are. He's growing up to be a warrior, a soldier, an officer and general like his mother is, and I'm just doing my best to help him be a man of honor and not a bully. And I'm not going to force him to be like me if he doesn't want to be. I know how much that hurts.''

''But that's just my own family. I wasn't a model Hooligan growing up, no matter how many tales people tell now to the contrary. Fishlegs grew up around books and cultivated that in him, but he wasn't a perfect warrior as our people pictured it either. Hel, Mildew, may Nidhogg gnaw on his bones, was one of us, and look at how he acted! It was as if every law and rule we had was something he viewed as a challenge to break!''

So when I hear people say in the Thing that that's 'just how the Turks are', or 'everyone knows that's how the Han people are', or any of that…

''I always end up asking sarcastically about what 'everyone knows'. After all, 'everyone knows' that Jews are weak scholars—and some of our most highly honored soldiers come from their people. I've had my own people comment to me in private that 'everyone knows' how Franks are untrustworthy fanatics who will betray oaths to outsiders if they can find an excuse. And, sure, there have been examples of that… and there have been many more examples of good and kind members of their people, who repay decency with decency and honor with honor.''

''No. Blood is ridiculous. I grew up with a smith for a guardian and became a craftsman. My wives grew up in the homes of warriors and leaders, and that's what they were taught to become.''

And that is why I do my best to help my people, regardless of their 'blood', to grow and fly on their own.

Because I know what it's like to be a square peg in a round hole, even if people now are saying that the hole was always square.

It wasn't.

—From the Journal of Hiccup Haddock, October 12th, AD 1067

Foreshadowing
Put spoilers here

Epigraph Tie-In

 * The epigraph has Hiccup cursing Mildew for all his crimes. The chapter shows Mildew capturing Hiccup and getting ready to torture him.

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